The Five Stages of Revision

Some time ago, when the flames of Rewrite Hell were toasting my toes, I jotted down my thoughts on the five stages of revision, which aren't all that different from the stages of grief. Now, as I consider what I've written so far of the first draft of a new book, I find these words as relevant as ever.

DENIAL: This will be a breeze! My manuscript is almost perfect. It will hardly need any rewriting.

ANGER: How the heck could I have written this crap? How could I have been so blind to the plot holes and cliche-ridden prose?

BARGAINING: If I survive this rewrite, I will outline the heck out of the next book before I type a word of Chapter One.

DEPRESSION: This is hopeless. I will never make this book publishable.

ACCEPTANCE: This isn't perfect, but there's a lot of good stuff here and I can make it better. Back to work.